if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
