So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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