just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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