GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You're a waste of cheezeits
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
