i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
