I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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