I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
