I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
