Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
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I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
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You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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