there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he injected his testicle?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize