He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
