I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Me too!
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
