I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
