We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
