So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Randomize