You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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