Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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