We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
