absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
