Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
