she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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