I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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