she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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