Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize