is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
