I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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