Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
