Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He better not be in your backpack
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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