did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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