He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I smell like Dick and happiness
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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