She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize