I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
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He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
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There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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