yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize
