happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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