So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
