As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
