Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
