On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
