Texts From Last Night

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  (469): View more from Texas

  just do it

  (1-469): View more from Texas

  fine only cuz shes asian

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  (469): just do it (1-469): fine only cuz shes asian http://tfl.nu/6iw9
  Replies (5) Good night (1279) Bad night (541)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?

  (1-425): View more from Washington

  I hate you

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  (425): Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs? (1-425): I hate you http://tfl.nu/19l9
  Replies (14) Good night (3995) Bad night (500)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.

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  (414): I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing. http://tfl.nu/kg0l
  Replies (15) Good night (3005) Bad night (1015)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid

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  (306): How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid http://tfl.nu/1mq4
  Replies (9) Good night (1010) Bad night (4530)
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.

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  (361): I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina. http://tfl.nu/9b7c
  Replies (17) Good night (3355) Bad night (1866)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.

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  (618): You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel. http://tfl.nu/6eyp
  Replies (4) Good night (2242) Bad night (849)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.

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  (704): My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search. http://tfl.nu/gxvg
  Replies (2) Good night (619) Bad night (2042)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.

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  (404): He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday. http://tfl.nu/mk6n
  Replies (14) Good night (1626) Bad night (702)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms

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  (248): Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms http://tfl.nu/jxub
  Replies (4) Good night (3425) Bad night (848)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.

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  (518): I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here. http://tfl.nu/4g6f
  Replies (13) Good night (511) Bad night (2793)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.

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  (541): They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully. http://tfl.nu/5ynt
  Replies (4) Good night (1094) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Come join me

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  (970): I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug (970): Come join me http://tfl.nu/ww5v
  Replies (5) Good night (670) Bad night (524)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  answer my text you professional douchebag

  (914): View more from New York

  and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible

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  (914): answer my text you professional douchebag (914): and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible http://tfl.nu/dtk0
  Replies (0) Good night (735) Bad night (289)
• Favorite

  (276): View more from Virginia

  She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it

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  (276): She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it http://tfl.nu/zw5c
  Replies (3) Good night (251) Bad night (676)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.

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  (970): idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me. http://tfl.nu/gdf6
  Replies (0) Good night (195) Bad night (578)

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