Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.

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(818): Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life. http://tfl.nu/wz8b

Replies (10) Good night (646) Bad night (1230)
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(205): View more from Alabama

I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...

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(205): I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand... http://tfl.nu/3a2z

Replies (8) Good night (1745) Bad night (599)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!

(1-225): View more from Louisiana

Wtf?

(225): View more from Louisiana

Use the slutty part of ur brain.

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(225): Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!! (1-225): Wtf? (225): Use the slutty part of ur brain. http://tfl.nu/qcnm

Replies (32) Good night (3041) Bad night (570)
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(847): View more from Illinois

No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.

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(847): No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv. http://tfl.nu/ej96

Replies (38) Good night (1789) Bad night (4178)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?

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(931): EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011? http://tfl.nu/cw71

Replies (15) Good night (3776) Bad night (1045)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar

(1-336): View more from North Carolina

Blow your rape whistle

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(336): Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar (1-336): Blow your rape whistle http://tfl.nu/5qj3

Replies (22) Good night (2987) Bad night (1065)
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(770): View more from Georgia

He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?

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(770): He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well? http://tfl.nu/i7ab

Replies (10) Good night (1815) Bad night (751)
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(217): View more from Illinois

Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way

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(217): Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way http://tfl.nu/0knp

Replies (9) Good night (2898) Bad night (629)
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(905): View more from Ontario

ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.

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(905): ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all. http://tfl.nu/qym2

Replies (4) Good night (1543) Bad night (520)
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(619): View more from California

Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it

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(619): Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it http://tfl.nu/st9u

Replies (5) Good night (1075) Bad night (500)
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(+61): View more from Australia

Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.

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(+61): Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me. http://tfl.nu/7l1e

Replies (2) Good night (721) Bad night (333)
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(785): View more from Kansas

Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.

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(785): Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ. http://tfl.nu/krx2

Replies (2) Good night (1249) Bad night (382)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.

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(780): So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks. http://tfl.nu/pwvq

Replies (5) Good night (1616) Bad night (301)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.

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(843): In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight. http://tfl.nu/6bps

Replies (3) Good night (645) Bad night (374)
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(587): View more from Alberta

Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.

(306): View more from Saskatchewan

There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol

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(587): Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking. (306): There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol http://tfl.nu/d3jk

Replies (4) Good night (967) Bad night (337)

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