This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.