I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no