Texts From Last Night

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  (514): View more from Quebec

  Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in

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  (514): Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in http://tfl.nu/gix0
  Replies (30) Good night (11719) Bad night (822)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.

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  (360): just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop. http://tfl.nu/n7ra
  Replies (48) Good night (3910) Bad night (1094)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...

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  (404): Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song... http://tfl.nu/qxfs
  Replies (35) Good night (1252) Bad night (4641)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.

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  (609): It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds. http://tfl.nu/3v3q
  Replies (48) Good night (706) Bad night (8163)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  period poops. best. ever.

  (925): View more from California

  omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...

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  (831): period poops. best. ever. (925): omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that... http://tfl.nu/lwj4
  Replies (144) Good night (1958) Bad night (19540)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?

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  (918): Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet? http://tfl.nu/ki3z
  Replies (5) Good night (4670) Bad night (941)
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,

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  (325): As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good, http://tfl.nu/ohf2
  Replies (11) Good night (4050) Bad night (1536)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.

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  (630): Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends. http://tfl.nu/htzg
  Replies (4) Good night (1355) Bad night (2914)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.

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  (914): Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen. http://tfl.nu/bjsq
  Replies (12) Good night (3128) Bad night (940)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.

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  (406): i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine. http://tfl.nu/dm6s
  Replies (22) Good night (1159) Bad night (3179)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.

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  (678): We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/k4wd
  Replies (2) Good night (876) Bad night (1500)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.

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  (918): Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking. http://tfl.nu/gpcu
  Replies (5) Good night (2450) Bad night (825)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster

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  (971): Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster http://tfl.nu/bpg2
  Replies (2) Good night (884) Bad night (1250)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love

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  (905): he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love http://tfl.nu/0ny7
  Replies (21) Good night (3691) Bad night (737)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face

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  (617): For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face http://tfl.nu/7t4e
  Replies (5) Good night (449) Bad night (830)

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