your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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