Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
