Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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