so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.