Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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