i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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