You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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