My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize