Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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