tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Randomize
