is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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