last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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