we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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