what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
So many bounce houses so little time
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
