So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
