i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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