Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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