My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
