Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
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I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
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watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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