so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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