Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
